i just finished watching this random Adam Sandler movie on netflix, click, about that story that i'm sure everyone has heard before: somebody finds something that allows them to skip the things in their life that they don't like and eventually they find themselves dead and they missed all their lives and then they wake up and it's just a dream and they go about living their lives better and appreciating everything they have because they know how much it's worth now and it leaves us all feeling more appreciative of everything and determined to live better. Yea, you know that one?
The following thought process is not one that is new to me... this percolates in my brain often
the inevitable track of people's life is this: you get borned, you live, and then you die. That's all we get, that's all anyone gets. this isn't going to be a post about how we need to make out life count per say, although that is super important!
i, like most teenaged girls around this time of the cinematic year, have read, watched, and LOVED the fault in our stars by john greene. if you have time and feel like sobbing your eyes out, i suggest you read the book because it is actually pretty good, it really made me think and i love stories that do that :)
anyways, there's a quote i also love: "that's the thing about pain: it demands to be felt"
i'm not going to say that i am a complete expert on pain, but i have had my share of physical injuries, emotional battles, etc and that is one thing that i know: pain sometimes literally DEMANDS to be felt. like, sometimes it seems like the pain is just sitting on top of your diaphragm screaming "hey!! i'm here, i'm causing a ruckus! and look out because soon you're going have a hard time breathing and you must have a monopoly on water works because you're about to spend a lot of money building hotels!" (haha, i lost that illustration...) this is one thing that i think i've learned with this past hell of a year: the worst and most saddest thing is to go through life, and not feel.
i don't want to be numb and i don't want to repress. i want to feel the ache in my chest of my heart breaking. i want to soak in the sunshine and feel it's heat. i want to work through grief of saying the last goodbye to a dear family pillar. i want to take deep breaths of air in the warm summer air and freezing winter. i want to fill completely overwhelmed by the enormous sky and get lost in the stars. someday i want to experience the pain of giving life to babies and then love them with every fiber of my being. that is the life i want to have. i want to feel. enjoy the little things. there is soo much in life to enjoy! i love my life and even though i don't always want to get out of bed in the morning because i also love sleeping, being alive is just.. so good.
this might seem like a cliche live life rant, but this is soo important and guess whaaaat? all of this points to God. he puts these little glimpses of his love and himself everywhere in our lives and we need to open our eyes and noses and ears and hands to experience them!
so take 10 seconds to stop and smell the flowers.
