"comparison is the thief of joy"

i just wrote a really great post and then my ancient computer deleted it :[ so i'll try again.

comparison is something i've been struggling with a lot recently.

if you know anything about my personal life struggles, you would like that my life is not exactly where i thought it would be.  as a newly minted college graduate, i had all of these expectations of what i thought my life needed to be and look like.  according to live up to societal standards for people my age, i need to be living on my own, with a cute apartment, making new friends, and having a grand old time while i "figure life out", enjoying the freedom and some of the responsibilities of "real life".  it all looks so cute and fun in the movies and in my head.  unfortunately (but also fortunately...) that is not what happened.

real life is actually messy.  very rarely does reality live up to our expectations.  and even though my life right now is a pretty sweet gig, i tend to get super caught up in the reasons that my life sucks or isn't like other people's that i know (or even people that i don't know).  i just started a really awesome full-time job in my field and i'm living at home to save money.  both of these things are super positive and blessings that i did not anticipate, but so often i focus on what i don't have.  i'm as single as a slice of cheese (seriously everyone is getting married. why.) and sometimes i'm embarrassed to say i live with my parents at 22.  when my bar of success is set at the level of my perceived societal standards, i will never be good enough.  that's where the joy gets stolen: i can't see the blessings and the joy of Christ in my life when i'm focused on what i don't have compared to everyone else.

instead, i need to see myself though Jesus' eyes: as a deeply loved, completely forgiven, and fully accepted child.  my failures and embarrassments mean nothing to him.  i can celebrate my triumphs as what they are, gifts from God and not as another way i don't measure up.  this is such a better way to live; it's full of joy and smiles and happiness because my worth and my story are not based on what i can or can't do, but solely on the works of Jesus through me.